My future in-laws are what I call “light heartedly and graciously forgiving”.
Due to the fact that I’ve never exactly been the brightest of the bright, I often give my in-laws, particularly my father-in-law, a pretty big laugh. Never on purpose. It’s embarrassing.
Sometimes it’s because of things that I do, other times it’s things that I say:
“Do we still have to pay for our electricity even if we use our own lamps?”
I regretted it the second I spoke. Even 12 year old Seth knew the answer to that. My father-in-law had to pause the episode of *M*A*S*H* that we were watching so he could finish laughing before we could continue.
The laughs usually come from the things that I do, however. My first doozie of a mishap happened just a couple of months after Will and I started dating. Will was a very important person at that time (Talon Editor), and used a Blackberry to conduct his important business. Will would frequently invite friends of ours over to his house to hot tub, so we picked a Friday and everyone piled in to get warm. The hot tub is tucked away in an open-roof deck, with lights that Will never turns on, and a chair in the back right corner. It is on this chair that people tend to place their towels. Unbeknownst to me, it was also on this chair that Will decided to place his important Blackberry. We hot tubbed and talked – talked and hot tubbed, then I got hot and wanted a glass of water. I got out, for some reason decided to pick the towel on the bottom of the towel pile, yanked the towel out from beneath the pile, and voila! A Blackberry learned to fly. The group watched in silence and shock as the Blackberry flew through the air, bounced a single bounce on the deck, then plunged to its ultimate demise into the hot tub. Will was going to break up with me – I was sure of it. He yelled, “The Blackberry!” and the group began searching for it through the jet streams. At last it was found and thrown ashore, desperately needing a CPR of sorts. We watched it flicker its last light, similar to that of a dying firefly, and with that, it was no more.
During the months that followed this tragedy, I had to watch Will be taunted by his parents who thought it was actually Will himself who dropped the Blackberry into the hot tub.
“I don’t know if I should let you hold on to this… You might break it or drop it into a hot tub! Hahaha remember that? Like your Blackberry? Oooooh what a dumb thing to do. Way to go Will, way to go.”
Truly – I was scarlet red with embarrassment and shame right down to my little toes. I wanted so badly to shout out, “IT WAS ME! It was me! I’m the one to blame! I’m the one who ruined the important Blackberry! It’s ME you should be taunting!” But I couldn’t. They’d throw me out – I was sure of it. ”A terrible girlfriend”, they’d say. The one time Will was asked how it happened was by his mom. She looked at him, waiting for the truth, and Will looked at me, unsure of how I felt about being told on. My eyes were pleading with him – “Nooo! I’ve only just got here! They can’t know I’m a dingbat yet!” So Will told a fib to his mother and father, and they believed him until the truth came out on a hot June day.
Will’s dad picked us up from the Dallas airport and we began the 3 hour long journey home. I’m not sure why, but his dad started picking on Will about the Blackberry again. Ashamed and feeling sorry for my boyfriend who had told me two weeks earlier that he knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me (talk about guilt…), I made the mistake of uttering a single noise in my throat and giving Will a sideways glance that said it all. My father-in-law immediately knew something was up and, laughing, demanded to know the truth. With my face buried in my hands and my hands buried in my lap, I came clean. I explained how I accidently picked Will’s towel up from the bottom of the pile, causing his Blackberry to be murdered by an overwhelming amount of hot bubbly water. I explained that I was afraid I’d be hated forever and tossed out into the cold if they knew the truth, so that’s why Will took the blame for all those months.
It’s amazing we weren’t on the news that night for getting into a horrible car accident. My father-in-law laughed, and laughed hard, all the way back to Edmond. I think he may have actually frolicked into the house to tell my mother-in-law about his latest discovery.
To Be Continued…