A collection of grievances, memories, occasional musings, and everyday happenings

The joke that wasn’t funny.

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Fact: I am not a morning person.  It takes me at least half an hour to half way smile about something.  It might take a little less than that if I have coffee and bacon soon after I fall out of bed.  For some crazy horrible reason, I’ve been cursed with an 8am class every day this semester.  So for obvious reasons, I’m not the happiest person to walk into a classroom filled with 21 other cranky women.

Primary Science takes place every Tuesday and Thursday morning.  Science is my second least favorite subject, but learning to teach it to small children (and learning it how I can actually understand it) isn’t all that bad.  One perk to this class is that we never sit still for the whole class period.  We always have a science activity – one that we can use in our future classrooms.

Today, we worked with magnets.  My professor called all 22 of us up to the front to stand around the table to look at his scientific creation.  There was a large white coffee mug resting on the table upside-down.  On top of the coffee mug was a small box of what seemed to be paper clips.  A paper clip was attached to a string and was stretching out to the box while being held up by nothing but air and being held down by a ball of clay at the other end of the string.  Magic?  Spirits?  Science.  There was of course a magnet hiding inside the box of paper clips causing this phenomena to happen.

He had us get into groups and gave each group a few magnets and some worksheets.  We had to go around the room and find ten things that the magnets stuck to.  Door frame?  Check.  Under the table?  Check.  The buckle on Holly Guthrie’s sandal?  Check.

Now, just a reminder, I’m in a class with 21 other girls.  Of those 22, two of us are engaged, and another is married.  Every girl has seen the ring each of us has on, so you can imagine the reaction that came when this happened:

Professor: Have you all tried everything?  Belt buckles?  Door knobs?  Girls who are engaged or married, maybe try your rings?

The three of us, out of curiosity and also taking his hint, took a magnet and put it on our diamonds.  I shrugged when the magnet didn’t stick.

Professor: Did the magnets stick?

Response: *silence*

Professor: Hm?  Because diamonds are made of carbon and…

He continued to list off a bunch of fancy shmancy words having to do with the science of diamonds and ended his explanation with…

Professor: So if the magnet didn’t stick, it’s not a real diamond.

I immediately felt sick.  My heart dropped into my stomach, my jaw nearly hit the table, my eyes were pleading for this truth to be a lie.  I looked at my ring and pictured Will putting a quarter in one of those jewelry machines at the mall and receiving a plastic case with a fake ring inside of it.  The other two were speechless and ill-feeling as well.  The rest of the girls all sucked in a huge breath in shock and sorrow for our loss.

Professor: Nah I’m just kidding.  Man, your faces!

So not funny.

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Author: Holly

Vienna-based American wife/mom/expat.

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