A collection of grievances, memories, occasional musings, and everyday happenings


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The joke that wasn’t funny.

Fact: I am not a morning person.  It takes me at least half an hour to half way smile about something.  It might take a little less than that if I have coffee and bacon soon after I fall out of bed.  For some crazy horrible reason, I’ve been cursed with an 8am class every day this semester.  So for obvious reasons, I’m not the happiest person to walk into a classroom filled with 21 other cranky women.

Primary Science takes place every Tuesday and Thursday morning.  Science is my second least favorite subject, but learning to teach it to small children (and learning it how I can actually understand it) isn’t all that bad.  One perk to this class is that we never sit still for the whole class period.  We always have a science activity – one that we can use in our future classrooms.

Today, we worked with magnets.  My professor called all 22 of us up to the front to stand around the table to look at his scientific creation.  There was a large white coffee mug resting on the table upside-down.  On top of the coffee mug was a small box of what seemed to be paper clips.  A paper clip was attached to a string and was stretching out to the box while being held up by nothing but air and being held down by a ball of clay at the other end of the string.  Magic?  Spirits?  Science.  There was of course a magnet hiding inside the box of paper clips causing this phenomena to happen.

He had us get into groups and gave each group a few magnets and some worksheets.  We had to go around the room and find ten things that the magnets stuck to.  Door frame?  Check.  Under the table?  Check.  The buckle on Holly Guthrie’s sandal?  Check.

Now, just a reminder, I’m in a class with 21 other girls.  Of those 22, two of us are engaged, and another is married.  Every girl has seen the ring each of us has on, so you can imagine the reaction that came when this happened:

Professor: Have you all tried everything?  Belt buckles?  Door knobs?  Girls who are engaged or married, maybe try your rings?

The three of us, out of curiosity and also taking his hint, took a magnet and put it on our diamonds.  I shrugged when the magnet didn’t stick.

Professor: Did the magnets stick?

Response: *silence*

Professor: Hm?  Because diamonds are made of carbon and…

He continued to list off a bunch of fancy shmancy words having to do with the science of diamonds and ended his explanation with…

Professor: So if the magnet didn’t stick, it’s not a real diamond.

I immediately felt sick.  My heart dropped into my stomach, my jaw nearly hit the table, my eyes were pleading for this truth to be a lie.  I looked at my ring and pictured Will putting a quarter in one of those jewelry machines at the mall and receiving a plastic case with a fake ring inside of it.  The other two were speechless and ill-feeling as well.  The rest of the girls all sucked in a huge breath in shock and sorrow for our loss.

Professor: Nah I’m just kidding.  Man, your faces!

So not funny.

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It is what it is.

This weekend was chocked full of productivity, accidents, and mishaps.

Productivity:

1. Met with Cafe Evoke.  I could not be more excited about them.  Since Will and I are such big coffee/tea drinkers, we’re going to have a coffee bar at our reception, complete with the coffee bar feel: dim lights, lounging, live music, delicious coffee.

2. I opened an account with Midfirst.

3. Will and I are officially on the Spring Creek Apartments waiting list.

Accidents:

Will has inherited quite a bit of furniture for us to put in our apartment.  The thing about the furniture is, it’s crate furniture.  Will and I listen to and occupy our lives with the music and style of bands like Vampire Weekend, The Beatles, The Shins, Band of Horses, Sigur Ros.  You will never hear “Beer for My Horses” or anything of the sort playing in our future apartment, which is exactly what this furniture is begging us to play.  It would be fitting for us to have a western star over the fireplace and cowboy hats hung over our bed.  So, we’ve gone to work.  We decided that we’re going to redo every bit of the furniture to the best of our ability.  We have tons of different fabrics and colors that we’re looking at for when we replace all the cushions.  Before we can do that, we have to paint, or stain, all the furniture.  We decided to stain it.  Not too difficult, right?  Four hours and three Lowe’s trips later, I realized we were becoming more and more like this couple:

I never cried, and Will never fell off a ladder.  But there was a bit of a catastrophe:

Will’s Dad: Okay now, don’t spill any of that stain on my nice white driveway.

-30 minutes later-

Will’s Dad: If Holly wasn’t here I’d be yelling at you right now.

Will and I went to Lowes and bought 3 different shades of stain that we wanted to try out on the backside of the headboard.  We tried Ebony – a nice dark, nearly black stain, Bombay Mahogany – a mostly red stain, and Red Mahogany – a dark brown/red stain.  Chip and Mendy had a Classic Black gloss-stain that they thought we might want to try, and somewhere between the handoff of the gloss and the moving of Red Mahogany, the Red Mahogany tipped and quickly began to color Chip’s previously “nice white driveway”.  We poured paint thinner all over the rapidly expanding stain, which only made it spread out more.  We scrubbed and scrubbed with a steel brush, trying to remove the damage as fast as we could.  The end result:

It’s not as bad as it was…

Don’t worry.  We think we’ve figured it all out now.  I learned how to sand, which left me with an extremely twitchy right thumb, and I also learned that acetone burns the inside of your nose if you get too close to it.  For those of you wondering, we’ve decided to go with the Classic Black gloss-stain.  It looks pretty cool.

Mishaps:

1. I fell down about 5 of the balcony stairs in Memorial Road after church was over.  Jeremy Schofield was the first to both realize and feel me toppling past him, followed by Brody Gustafson and Will who were also shocked to see me rolling past their feet.  The three men all stopped me from continuing on with my stair slide.

2. Lunchday Sunday was a huge blessing.  38 people came out for it!  That’s the largest group we’ve had so far.  I was racing around looking for the person coming with the drinks because it was getting closer and closer to start serving lunch. He came running up the stairs with 2L cokes in hand.  I put them on Karissa’s counter and began to open the Dr. Pepper bottle when a stream of DP hit me square in the chest.  The DP developed several more streams, all of which hit me in the chest, stomach, and legs.  I was unfortunately still wearing my church clothes.

3. My bookshelf broke.

But those folders?  Yeah, 20 cents baby.

It was a great weekend though despite all the craziness that occurred.  My bridesmaid dresses came in, and I’m going to Sweet Cherry’s Bakery on Tuesday for cake tastings.  Win.

Also this:

Aunt Alison (Alison Hewitt) welcomed me into the Kooi family by giving me these!!  Now the name of my blog is officially legitimate, and I feel two shoes closer (get it?!) to being Dutch.

Note: The title of this blog post has nothing to do with anything by the way, other than I had a dream last night about blogging and this was the title I gave to my post.


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Shameful Addiction

There are three categories that I pride myself in having good taste:

1. Music

2. Movies

3. TV shows

It is these three categories, and these three categories only, that I will verbally or Twitter-ly battle someone, or simply battle the majority opinion, when I feel that their opinion is in the wrong.

Example:

Majority opinion: Justin Bieber!  So great.

Battle: Please no.  See: Vampire Weekend

Majority opinion: A Walk to Remember gets me every. time.  It’s precious!

Battle: *head in hands*  Mandy Moore?  Really?  SHE got to you?

Majority opinion: GLEE GLEE GLEE!!!

Battle: glee

One time I committed the sin of tweeting my feelings about Glee.  I got the most replies I had ever received in one day.  And all of them were yelling at me.

Since then, I have stopped fighting people, but really only about Glee for fear of finding something dreadful in my apartment, or losing all my Twitter followers in a single day.  But, sadly, I don’t have much room to talk.

I have become very much attached to TLC.  At first, my attention to this channel started out small.  Say Yes to the Dress has always been a personal favorite of mine, way before I got engaged.  Erica and I have sat in front of the TV many times, yelling at girls to steer clear of the Mermaid Style dress.  Step away from the ball gown!  I know the names of all the women who work in Kleinfeld, and I decided a long time ago that I would want Kiesha or Nicole to help me pick my dress if I was lucky enough to go to NYC to see them.

Then I discovered the show I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant.  Captivating!  At 10am in the morning, there really is nothing better than life stories told by women who had no clue they were pregnant, and better, have over-actors available to dramatically demonstrate!

Immediately following is A Baby Story.  This show is along the same lines as I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant, only there are no actors, and the women are very much aware they’re pregnant, and video cameras follow them around the last month of the pregnancy till the actual birth.

Fantastic!

Last but not least, Four Weddings.  Four women individually explain what’s going to happen at their wedding.  When it’s time for one of the women to get married, the other three attend her wedding from beginning to end then score the wedding on venue, food, dress, entertainment… And something else but I can’t remember.  Whoever has the most points gets a free and awesome honeymoon.

!!!!!!!!!!

And of course, there’s always What Not to Wear, Hoarders: Buried Alive, and the all new Freaky Eaters.  On the last episode of Freaky Eaters, a guy had a habit of eating raw meat.  Gross.

Shows I DO NOT watch are the shows about families who exist, like 19 Kids and Counting, Little People Big World, Quints By Surprise, Sextuplets Take New York, and of course, Kate Plus 8.

I will also never watch Toddlers & Tiaras.  

So… That’s my confession.  It’s shameful, I know.  I do watch the History Channel, TCM, the Discovery Channel, and TBS – please know that I still have good taste!

Also my life isn’t filled with TV, unless it’s morning.


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For Real?

This my second practicum with Pre-K kids.  I prefer Pre-K to any other grade I’ve been with so far for several reasons:

1.  They’re just out of the toddler stage.

2.  They’re still cute.

3.  They ask the best and funniest questions.

My Pre-K kids met me for the first time yesterday morning.  I walked in and my teacher asked me if I was a Miss or Mrs.  ”I’m a Miss right now but I’ll be a Mrs. soon!”

She introduced me to the kids as Miss Greene, then made the comment that her last name used to be Green.  This statement confused the kids somethin’ awful.  ”………how could you be named Green…and then be named some-fing else?”  She tried to explain, and they understood for the most part.  I think.

A little while later I was playing house with a few of the girls and they suddenly realized that my name is a color.  We discussed this for a minute or two, and then I decided to try something.

“Yeah I like my last name, but it’ll change soon, just like your teacher’s name changed.”

“You’ll have our teacher’s name too??”

“Er… no.  It’ll change to a different name.  My husband’s name.”

“You have a husband?!”

“No… no not yet.  But I will in March!  And so my name will change from Holly Greene to Holly Kooi.”

“… Kooi?”

“Yep.  Kooi.”

“Your last name is going to be Koooooi?

“Yep.”

“Are you for real?”

“Oh, I’m for real.”

“That’s weird.”

Precious!


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Where’s Your Horse?

how-to-draw-animals-137On most nights, my sweet friends Seth and Erica are either having a tickle fight or an uncommon conversation of some sort. I always hear the mumblings of the conversation, but rarely do I enter into it, unless I’m backing Erica on something (naturally). Tonight however, I was asked to be apart of a social experiment.

Seth and Erica asked me to come into the room so I could be asked a series of questions led by Erica:

Erica: Picture a white room… Are you picturing it?

Me: Yes.

Erica: Okay. Now picture a box. Just a box.

Me: Got it.

Erica: Where is the box?

Me: In the left-hand corner against the wall.

Seth: Aww….

Erica: What does the box look like?

Me: It’s a shoe box.

Seth: Aww, sad.

Erica: Is the box open or is it closed?

Me: Closed.

Seth: Awww, that’s sad!

Despite the fact that my dear friend Seth was causing me to feel sorry for my sad, closed shoe box, I continued to answer Erica’s questions. She told me to picture flowers in the room, then asked me to tell her where they were located and what they looked like.

Me: They’re in the middle of the room. In a tall vase. They’re tall, and long… They’re bright yellow.

Seth: Oh that’s good.

Erica then told me to picture a horse. I’d be okay with this if I didn’t have a slight fear of horses. I pictured one anyway. My horse was white and stood in the middle of the room next to the flowers with its side facing me. Lastly, I was told to picture a ladder.

Erica: Where is your ladder?

Me: I don’t want to tell you.

Erica: Holly you have to! Where’s the ladder?

Me: Well when you asked me to picture the ladder, I immediately pictured it against the horse. Like there’s the table of flowers, then a space, then the ladder is a plain wooden ladder resting up against the side of the horse.

Erica: So the horse is supporting the ladder?

Me: Yeah.

Seth and Erica: Awwwww! That’s beautiful!

Me: …

The box is supposed to represent myself. Since I pictured a small closed shoe box, that means that I’m guarded and don’t let people in very easily – the reason behind Seth’s multiple “how sad!” sighs. The flowers are supposed to represent my friends. The fact that they’re in the middle of the room and are all together in a vase means that I’m friends with a group of people who are together a lot, or at least I group them that way, and they all mean a lot to me given that the flowers are bright yellow and stand out in the room. The horse, unfortunately, is supposed to represent my future husband (sorry Will). The fact that the horse is sideways means that I know who my husband is but we’re “not quite there yet”. And the ladder represents my ambitions for the future. In my white room, the ladder was being supported by the horse, so, my future husband is supporting my hopes and ambitions (thanks Will!) – the reason behind Erica and Seth’s shared excitement.

I then turned to ask Seth what his responses were. He did alright until…

Me: So Seth, where was your horse?

Seth: Well it w-

Erica: OUT. SIDE.

According to Seth, all real men keep their horses outside, by the window.

Wrong answer.

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